Phi11y’s P-Hines{T} /> #Hardcore PHant-[O]m$: Part Three, Chapter Five

Excerpts from r(E)volutionized contributor John Corry’s satire Phi11y’s P-Hines{T} /> #Hardcore PHant-[O]m$

Physical front, back and spine of Corry’s Phi11y’s P-Hines{T} /> #Hardcore PHant-[O]m$.

Physical front, back and spine of Corry’s Phi11y’s P-Hines{T} /> #Hardcore PHant-[O]m$.

12/14/18, 5:16 pm EST

By John Corry

From the flap:

“Imagine if Tom Wolfe had been born in 1975 and instead of writing 'Radical Chic and Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers' in 1970, he'd have written a book about the state of society and it's obsession with social media, internet fame and all of the intricacies that go along with it. On shrooms. Using Chuck Palahniuk's 'Pygmy' as his sole piece of inspiration.... you'd have John Corry's 'Phi11y's P-Hines[T] /> #Hardcore Phant-[O]m$'.” -Travis Besecker (author and comedy writer)

After 19-year-old reformed gang member Randall Gähstŭr is brutally murdered at the start of the Baltimore riots of 2015, the subsequent investigation leads both his former closest friends and the two very different special agents assigned to investigating the case into a web of conspiracy involving everything from police corruption, to global world domination, to manipulated/unnecessarily clung-to gang violence (relatively defined), war, and, eventually /> r(E)volution.

Every Monday and Friday, we’ll be releasing 1-2 chapters of r(E)volutionized contributor John Corry’s Phi11y’s P-Hines{T} /> #Hardcore PHant-[O]m$. You check it out here, get a free PDF here, or check it out on Amazon, or on Barnes and Noble.

Parental discretion is advised.


April 27th, 2015

5:51 p.m.

“Saves! Saves!! Officer Saves!!!”

Palmer ran down the busy street with his arms flailing about like a madman. He could see Saves’ sharp blonde hair reflecting off the sun and the snow like it was the only noticeable thing on the street, even when there were lots of cars and buildings and such during rush hour #Dangerouz #WatchOut! #BuildingsDuringRushHour? #LoveIsStillNoAlibiForSurvival(I-sIt?):! . She was wiping the dirt from her hat in her hands, didn’t stop walking until Palmer had reached her and put his hand on her shoulder, and even then she still didn’t turn–

“Officer Saves?–”

“What’s up?” and she turned around. She looked at him unsympathetically, her arms crossed, her hat just thrown back on her head like, ‘whatever’.


“Um…” Palmer started. “I uh… nothing.”

She stared at him, waited for him to continue. She slowly nodded her head to try to get him to say something, and gradually nodded faster as this short period of time went on forever, until she made a quick move, and was just about to mention that she really ought to be getting a MOVE on when–

“I was wondering if you would like to get a cup of coffee with me?” Palmer finally asked.

Saves stared, no expression. Palmer stared–much too much expression =D. Saves made a little movement to show him that he should maybe say a little more. Palmer laughed awkwardly like a #Bitch*ClearlyTheBiggestBitch . Saves looked around until Palmer finally gave up, made a little movement to accidentally signify that he knew he was being a fucking idiot, but that he also just didn’t know what else to do, and had no more peace of mind to figure it out–

Former Officer Saves (;D) chuckled lightly as she spoke, moving her eyes, her head, everywhere but at Palmer’s face: “You know you’re going to need help if you’re planning on continuing with the Gähstŭr case, right?”




/> Palmer was a self-righteous, wannabe-romantic-dreamer with no sense of reality, but a full sense of self-worth kind-of Douchebag: AKA the worst kind of wannabe ‘male’ romantic Douchebag #WhatADick #MetaphorForJung’sAnima-AnimusTheory? [1]


/> Saves, on the other hand, was all like /> all, smart n’ shit, and it was obvious in everything about her, so much so that most men not completely enthralled with the fact that they had a penis (big or small =O) would immediately be intimidated, and subconsciously then forced to move onto something else, something easier, and less implicative of philosophy/psycho-logical politics (of romance? #What’sTheDifference? ), before ever even thinking of talking to Officer Saves–

She was an ‘angel’, she was a ‘saint’ (!), and in that short moment she caught Palmer’s eye, so short ‘twas the ‘word’, Saves almost thought to herself that maybe there were many different types and levels of Douchebags, all kinds of bitches and dicks and men with small penises and ass-suckers, dumbass cucks and mothafuckerz /> and that’s not even including the ones she’d known as she thought she’d known so well for so long based on observation (o.O #ALLMENSUCK!!!!! ). Looking at Palmer with that reluctant first reciprocal fate of understanding and necessary, unbiased confliction, lie the filters through which she may have then realized that there were lots of different kinds of smart-as-shit and pretentious condescending assholes, in every corner of the light or dark world, and, that, oftentimes, as proven at every moment of every day and in every place in the multiverse–in every tiny crevice–those shitty personality traits overlap and intersect in the most unpredictably diverse swirls and mixed cocktails, in any one of an infinite amount of terrible, evil, and inhospitable combinations and conditions…

/> Totally disgusting…


[1] Jung, C.G. Translated by Hill, R.F.G. Aspects of the Masculine/Aspect of the Feminine. Fine Communications. 1997

[2] So disgusting…