Everyone's Wondering: When Will South Park Hit Trump? Answer: They Already Did in 'Dances With Smurfs'

In a World Where Everything Is Known Within A Second Of Its Happening, To Be ‘Ahead of the Curve’ Means Simply to Be Wrong

Donald Trump and his minions (real photo).

Donald Trump and his minions (real photo).

7/23/17, 1:18 pm EDT

By John Corry, photo from Comedy Central 

In a 2009, season 13, episode of Comedy Central's South Park (created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone), South Park regular Eric Cartman becomes the school's morning announcer.


Throughout the episode, he gives criticism to the school's then-student-body-president, Wendy Testaburger, even going so far as saying that she 'doesn't care about smurfs'. Later, he accuses her of a full-blown smurf massacre (!), for no other reason than to raid them of their abundant smurfberry supply, a resource in which ‘one smurfberry could run the school for two months'.


Following an 'admission' to this on Cartman's program, Testaburger gives up her post as student-body president only to hand it over to Mr. Cartman, who quickly realizes how different talking shit on a president, and actually being one, actually is.

South Park has been airing since the mid-1990s and has become famous for being one of the most sharpest political satires in recent memory. They've tackled everything from Occupy Wallstreet to the difficulties of appearing on Wheel of Fortune and all the way to Michael Jackson's nose and every election since the show's inception. However, they've been notoriously silent, according to some, when it comes to the most recent mockery of the 'American dream', Donald Trump.

The show made fun of Trump a bit in the last season: he was parodied through a series regular, Mr. Garrison, who wins the American presidency by being an idiot, vowing to ‘fuck em (the immigrants (or:the Canadiens)) all to death!’ and subsequently getting himself into something he couldn't handle– but which he soon finds out is worth quite a lot as far as 'brand-building' goes. There was also an episode in the previous season where Garrison first alludes to running for president and meets the Canadian prime-minister, portrayed as a bumbling Trump-esque fool in over his head, and very obviously made to look like our current 'orangutan-in-chief'.

Trump is indeed something new in American politics, and his apparent complete disregard to opposing ideas and the people who believe them is producing one of the most politically turbulent times in several decades (this is not to say that Trump is the only one at fault, but, as Trump himself has proven he believes, the president deserves ALL the blame (unless, of course, it's him), no matter who else may be involved) .

Trump is a South Park episode completely within himself, as South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have already said (variably), and as much as political satire may be a lot of fun to use to simply poke fun at people, its purpose is still one of less partisan lines, however blurred they may necessarily purposefully be for inclusion in the genre. I would argue that the way the South Park creators have handled Trump in the last two seasons is perfectly reasonable, given how ridiculous of a person Trump is...

And the fact that South Park already hit Trump in the aforementioned 2009, season 13, episode, 'Dances With Smurfs'.

Cartman's need to talk shit on the student-body president without any evidence to support his claims is fully metaphorical of Trump, whose 'birther movement' and 'how do we know Ted Cruz's dad didn't kill JFK' TRUTHS were inherently evidently characteristic of someone who has absolutely no idea what being president might actually be like. This last part is also important, as, at several points throughout said episode, characters allude to the idea that Cartman 'doesn't know what the student-body president' actually does.

If Trump's past is any indication, and it is not to say that it is the only indication (meaning: there may be other reasons for this), his interest in becoming president is based solely on the fact that it gets him more attention. Building brands is how he gained success, and that's how he created jobs, as least when compared to his ability to benefit cities, pay his contractors, benefit young people, or, especially, be honest about fucking anything (other than his hot daughter :/). He may be using all this as a front to actually get America back on the right track economically, which there is certainly an argument for, but it also may just be a front for Vladamir Putin's small cock and his need to show the world that it's HUGE *TheHugest (is it bigger than Trump's? probably...)

The most telling part of that South Park episode came at the end, when, after Cartman has become student-body president following Testaburger's throwing it onto him, he's sitting at his desk while the new morning announcements are on. As a rule, the school doesn't let the student-body president also run the school news (I wonder why? #RussiaIsSoGreat #WHENWILLTRUMPGETONTHATALREADY?!?!?! ). The new announcer starts reading off complaints from the student population against the new president, Eric Cartman. On the announcements earlier in the episode, there were no mentions of things which the president was doing wrong, but since Cartman's tenure as TV's premier president-hater-in-chief, the norm has now become radicalized, and immeasurably more partisan. Now the whole student body feels the need to voice their personalized opinions, most of which have no basis in political or philosophical argument (on either side), all because some orange skinned, small dicked monkey wanted to make himself a few more bucks while he touted his hot daughter around the world to run his illegitimate ego-building business. 

And of course, Cartman can't take it, starts crying and runs off. Has Trump been doing this since he got elected (crying)? He's at least been close (goodbye, Sean Spicer :'( ). People with big dicks don't cry, Mr. Trump, they bite the bullet, acknowledge, and learn from what they did wrong, and they adjust accordingly.

If you didn't know, you should have asked Ivanka.